なかま(Single)

by Delfinas

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about

This is a single version of the song なかま『Nakama』from my album Pastiche Magnifique (found here: petalportmusic.bandcamp.com/album/pastiche-magnifique)

なかま's single remix is now featuring a new guest verse with some slight other changes. I wanted to take the time to give this song a bigger spotlight because I can't push up my friends enough. Wouldn't have made it through this past year without 'em.

The b-side is a track made up nearly entirely of repurposed lyrics from old b-sides, soundcloud tracks, and an original draft of a track I wrote in 2012 (which later was rewritten into Reset, sadly).

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released June 25, 2016

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Delfinas Grand Rapids, Michigan

trans rapper writing music to attempt therapy for anxiety, depression, dysphoria, and stress.

( any pronouns )

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Track Name: Past Pastiche (XX)
v1/
whats a god to non believer,
whats a non believer to one who questions why one believes
the act of belief and what it will achieve
believing in a higher power to receive relief
please: relief i need it, put it into my praying palms
i'll even read pslams and return with no qualms
whatever is needed to begin receiving heealing but
i Do Not Believe there is relief from what i'm feelin
you could say i have a different take on faith
it has always been there, faithfully, not for me
so pray tell then, deity by design
absolutely leaves me out of breath, deity maglign
if the world is ending i'd finally say Thank God
something even i may pray for, or drop off
or i pray 2 teach me how to move within this space 'cause
it'll be awhile 'til I have the courage to escape

/v2
I've been sleeping for a while so forgive the mess
and I must confess - I've been cleaning less and less
speaking of messes, i'm gon talk about myself for a second
nows the time to get my demons out - therapy sessions
they say: sit down let it out and just talk to us
but all these voices in my head are so tumultuous
and all these choices in my head are too presumptuous
fed up with feelings because all they do is cause a fuss
i can't explain what it's like to have these emotions
sometimes a moment of euphoria that feels like eight explosions?
but still foreboding, its eroding all my mental composure
thoughts go erroneous, then i feel alone with this
its killing me, frequently, so i'm bout to jet
tired of running from it but hunny out i gotta get
got images in heaps n they keep me up for hours
play hide and seek with your problems - you find they just get louder

/v3
rearranged the pieces how i wanna be
and i don't stop rerranging, i will never satiate me
quick to rewrite anything and end up on a tangent
learning to deal with my brain's talent of runnin rampant
neurodivergent been hurt, compiled all i need
left it all in one piece, but it don't always fit me
hit me, with another one, cover it in lace while
lyrically i reinstate my fist into your fucking face
lemme pen you up a strawberry letter, with a header n all
scrawlin up a fluttry drawl that'll feather the fall
wish i had the wherewithal to wear it all, its here n gone
but all along, i'd quickly spend it all out in montreal
views from the 616, a bit amiss, but,
feelin bliss, when mixing these beats n spittin it
pretty positive perfect percussion will leave u deceased
so i'll flip that shit and ramble on it - Pastiche